Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Bible in 90 Days: Continuing the Race

Confession time: I am behind in reading the Bible in 90 Days.

Seriously behind. As I write this I should be on Day 61. I am currently beginning Day 44. That is 18 days behind. Ugh.

(Funny. I thought when I reached the half way point I would feel very encouraged. Instead I'm discouraged with myself.)

I have thought many times about writing an update on how things are going. And each time I've thought about it I've lost the motivation, or more accurately, allowed other things to distract me.

Then Saturday there was a conversation with a real-life friend who asked "How's the reading going?" It wasn't a critical question. It was just a friend asking how things were going. She listened. She understood why this challenge was becoming more difficult. She did not judge.

Then yesterday there was a whisper in my ear- it was a tweet from Mom's Toolbox. She asked those of us who are bloggers to write a check-in post. She said that she'd be "cleaning up" the list soon. Hmmm. That had sort of an ominous tone in my head...

"I could just not post and quietly slip out of the challenge," I thought. "I would just disappear off the list and I'm sure few would notice. I could just continue reading as I have been - a few pages every day. I'll eventually finish, it probably won't be in 90 days. But, I'll finish."

But, somehow as the day progressed I didn't want to just quietly slip away. I've done that before. It's the lazy way out. I'm good at using the lazy way out. But, I also have a growing hatred of that characteristic of mine. I started this challenge because I felt God calling me to do something I'd never done before. He was calling me to read ALL of the Bible.

Then, this morning as I contemplated what I would write, I read this post from Erin at Closing Time. And this post about her frustrations with how things are going. I was teary while I was reading. I could have written that first post myself. It says exactly what I've been thinking and feeling ... discouraged ... embarrassed ... frustrated with myself.

And yet, at the same time not wanting to give up. Not wanting to just read a few pages every day and move on to the other stack of books I want to read. There have been days, especially recently, when I really wanted a good 30 minute prayer time with God. But, reading for 1 - 1½ hours each day, just hasn't allowed me to fit another 30 minutes of prayer into a 24 hour day.

But there is this task, this challenge, that I was called to. A task I accepted and started.

One of the last things I need in my life is another unfinished task.

So, I'm continuing on. I'm continuing the race even as my spiritual and emotional muscles are begging me to stop.

I am continuing.


Melissa said...

I can relate. I'm only on Day 8 (I didn't start until last week), but the time commitment is a challenge. I've carved the hour for reading out of my online time (which is fine) and my exercise time (which is not so good). I'm also discouraged because I'm dealing with other "stuff" that makes it hard to concentrate.

I'm praying that you'll find a way to stick to this!

UnfinishedMom said...

Melissa, I'll be praying for you too. I really undestand the "other stuff" issues.

Jana said...

Hey! I haven't been reading blogs since Lent began, but I felt the need to encourage someone from the list on Mom's Toolbox, so I said a quick prayer and landed at a name that sounds a lot like me...Unfinished Mom. I'm so glad I did! I'm praying for you to find the time to continue the challenge. I'm about 3.5 days behind and yes, that's frustrating, but I'm keeping on. I pray you will, too. As you read Psalm 119, be encouraged by the psalmists love of the Word (I'm leading a study on Psalm 119 right now, and it's encouraging me both to finish the challenge and to eliminate some "vanity" in my life!). I'm praying for you, Unfinished Mom, to meet with God as you read His word.

Amy@ MomsToolbox said...

I am SOOO proud of you for looking at your situation and making a decision to succeed.
I'm so glad you didn't slip off quietly into the sunset-- Most that do never finish.. and I want you to finish!!
Keep reading and I'll be praying for you.
Just did!

Amy Rainey said...

To use a running analogy... for many a race is not about being among the first across the finish line, it is simply about finishing. Perserverance is one of the most challenging of spiritual disciplines. Good Job for sticking it out!

Joshlin said...

I didn't do the "Read the Bible in so many days" thing, but I too felt the calling to be closer to God. I have never read the Bible more than a bit her and a bit there. I always just read where it fell open.

I made a deal with myself to read it all. I started about 3 months ago. I am not even half way, but I feel that I need to stop and think about what I am reading than just trying to be done. I have gone some times a week at a time without reading and felt so horible about it. I just reminded myself that I was trying to take it all in too.

For lint I promised to read at least a chapter a day. I am doing better now, but still feel bad on those days when I dont really feel like reading it. I thought I was the only one. How could I have put of God's word. He is the reason I am here. But I am just human. I have to reminde myself of that every day.

Boy I should have just put this as a post on my blog. Now you have a long comment that could have been a post.

Ok! I'll stop now:)


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